Happiness Is Gorgeous

When was the last time you looked into a mirror and said to yourself, “Wow, I’m good-looking!” It matters, because how you see yourself is the emotional “Uber” in which you drive your life, and certainly in which you attract and create your relationships.

How you see yourself—the “self-talk” that loops silently and secretly inside your head—sets the direction of your life’s traffic: where you go, who you meet, and how amazingly those connections unfold . . . or not.

The media coming out of Hollywood and New York make many women and men not like what they see when they look in the mirror.

In fact, many people admit they are disgusted by their own reflections.

Both teenagers and adults compare themselves to the models, actors, and even porn stars that they see in larger-than-life movies, TV shows, and magazine ads, expertly lit and photo-shopped to perfection.

But humans aren’t perfect. We are messy and uncontrollable. And walking around in a body suit in which we feel ugly, fat, old, or “less than” creates an energy, an attitude, that surrounds us like Pigpen’s dark cloud, making life even messier.

It’s not comfy walking around under a dark cloud that’s constantly hovering overhead.

It’s not attractive to others and it certainly minimizes your ability to have amazing connections with others.

And it’s certainly no fun.

I am a big believer in vitamin F = fun. Whatever that is for YOU.

Fun is not frivolous.

It’s a true vitamin, we need it daily in some form or another.

The male brain is wired to be turned on to what he finds attractive. But there is a secret to attraction: it does not depend on physical looks, but on how attractive you feel inside yourself.

Happiness is gorgeous.

The happier and more congruent and loving you are with yourself, the more attractive you are. This isn’t a fairy tale, it’s fact.

Community of Strangers

I was at a community dinner table at a cool vegan restaurant in South Austin. A bunch of strangers, sitting together, talking about our favorite TV shows. I regard “Mad Men” as TV perfection. This hippie-looking younger guy, surprisingly said, “You know, every single man secretly wants to be Don Draper.”

“Why?” I had to ask.

“Because he’s so attractive to every woman he meets.”

“Why do you think that is?”

“He’s confident. He’s present. Takes his time. Tunes into the woman from a completely uninhibited sense of self. I know he’s handsome, but I don’t think it’s really about his looks as much as how he acts like he’s the most handsome man in the world. He could be ugly, but acting as confident as he does, he gets the gorgeous babes.”

I finished munching on my quinoa and asparagus and ran home to write this conversation.

Being comfy and attractive inside your own skin is what’s appealing.

It’s not a perfect nose or a sculptured face or a waist without a muffin top as much as it’s based on confidence and happiness.

In bed, gorgeous lasts only a few minutes.

The real experience comes from the intangibles: confidence, give-and-take, and knowing how to connect.

Attitude and actions beat out a perfectly polished veneer.

Develop a healthier relationship with yourself by figuring out what’s snagging you back from being happy and confident. Learn how to be a caring and exciting lover by getting out of those negative tape loops in your head. When you love yourself first, when you are happy being you, others will long to be with you.

Resources

Read SEXY BRAIN to learn what’s holding you back and how to move sexily and successfully forward.

Or read and enjoy Juicy Souls, How We Give Our Spirits Away, and How To Get Them Back.

Here is to being Happily Gorgeous!

Dr. B.